Construction Definition

Tea Break

ARCHITECTS ESTIMATE: The cost of construction in heaven

MANAGEMENT CONTRACT: The technique for losing your shirt under perfect control

COMPLETION DATE: The point at which liquidated damages begin

LIQUIDATED DAMAGES: A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible

QUANTITY SURVEYORS: People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded

LAWYERS: People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies

SUB-CONTRACTOR: A gambler, who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal

TENDER SUBMISSION: A poker game in which the losing hand wins

TENDER SUM: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places

SUCCESSFUL TENDERER: A contractor who is wondering what he left out

An ARCHITECT is a man who knows very little about a great deal, and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything.

A CONSULTING ENGINEER knows a great deal about very little, and goes on knowing more and more about less and less until he knows practically everything about nothing.

A CONTRACTOR starts out knowing practically everything, but ends up knowing nothing due to his association with Architects and Consulting Engineers.

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