ARCHITECTS ESTIMATE: The cost of construction in heaven
MANAGEMENT CONTRACT: The technique for losing your shirt under perfect control
COMPLETION DATE: The point at which liquidated damages begin
LIQUIDATED DAMAGES: A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible
QUANTITY SURVEYORS: People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded
LAWYERS: People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies
SUB-CONTRACTOR: A gambler, who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal
TENDER SUBMISSION: A poker game in which the losing hand wins
TENDER SUM: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places
SUCCESSFUL TENDERER: A contractor who is wondering what he left out
An ARCHITECT is a man who knows very little about a great deal, and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything.
A CONSULTING ENGINEER knows a great deal about very little, and goes on knowing more and more about less and less until he knows practically everything about nothing.
A CONTRACTOR starts out knowing practically everything, but ends up knowing nothing due to his association with Architects and Consulting Engineers.